white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize