can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
