well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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