between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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