I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
