I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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