Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
