you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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