I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
