When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize