He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
