I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize