I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
