it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
