just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
