His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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