I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
