I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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