im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize