By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
