Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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