I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
