you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
