Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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