Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
