I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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