Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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