Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
