her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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