I'm laying in your front yard are you home
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
