Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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