Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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