Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
