Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
