You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
