So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
