people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
