I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
