you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
