I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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