this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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