We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
