Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
