how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize