We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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