I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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