She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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