My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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