I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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