I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
