The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
