Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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