Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
