Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
