Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
