She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
