we're blogging at a bar
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
