Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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