We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
