You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize