i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
