I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
