I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
