hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how can u be prego again
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
