just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She announced her abortion via fbk
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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