awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
