It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
