I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
